Defender
by TrulyWished
Summary: Ikkaku is called to defend Yumichika. Crack bitlet, mentions of sex but nothing to fuss over. KiraIkkaku


A weird thingy. I don't know where it came from or if it's going anywhere. Probably not but it was bothering me so I put it down. The prompt was defender crack, and while I may be off on the defender part, the crack part is solid. If that's possible. Enjoy.

Defender

"Ikka!" Ikkaku groaned and Kira peeked up at him through long bangs.

White teeth nibbled a full bottom lip before the younger man shifted his weight, drawing a groan from them both. "You, ah, locked the door, right?" The bald man tried to smile reassuringly but ended up just kissing the little blond, moving his hips slowly.

"He'll go away. Just ignore him." Tiny kisses smoothed the small frown.

"But did you lock the door?" A persistent question and Ikkaku nodded, rolling his eyes.

'Not the time, Izuru.' But he'd never say anything like that out loud; confronting an embarrassed Kira was akin to telling Yume he was having a bad hair day. Death would be a luxury he could only dream of. He was distracted by barely audible muttering from outside. Small hands pushed at his chest just before the door flew in, engulfed in flame. "Fuck!"

Kira squeaked and shoved harder, sending his lover sprawling on the floor while he grabbed for his clothes, face scarlet. "Oops. Sorry." The skinny brunet looked anything but, a delighted grin on his face, that of one with a secret to tell. "Ikka, I called you!"

As if he had nothing better to do than answer every little whim of that conceited brat. "Fuck you." Muscle bunched as the bald man stalked forward and gripped the front of Yumichika's hakama. "This had damn well better be good."

"Ikka!" Fussy, slender hands batted softly at the larger one. "Look what he did!" Brilliant tears fell slowly, large and fluid as they trailed the delicate cheeks. Both hands were held up for examination and Ikkaku took them in his to look, shaking his head.

"Again?" Yumi started to pout. "Why can't you pick someone decent, huh?" The pout grew and tears fell faster. "Alright, stop crying."

Kira watched them silently, not even moving, hoping to be forgotten. No such luck. "Kira, come here. Can you heal him up?" As much as the bald man would prefer to just do it himself, Yumi wouldn't let him. Something about his control being shaky and what if he screwed up and scarred him?

The blond stood and walked over, face still red but dressed, at least mostly. He'd managed to grab his pants and under shirt and felt much better now that he was covered. "Let's see. I'm sure I can handle it." He checked the long fingers first, moving each carefully to see they were all intact before moving up to the frail-feeling wrist. Dark bruises were forming as he eased the wrist cover back, folding bright orange neatly.

It only took a moment and he released soft skin to be covered again. "Thank you, Kira!" Slender arms wrapped around the blond and he stiffened as he was hugged tightly.

"Ah, you're welcome." He patted awkwardly at a thin shoulder until he was released. "Does anything else hurt?"

Before he could answer, Ikkaku broke them up, pushing Yumichika away and folding Kira under a heavy arm. "Enough. Come on you pain in the ass, you've caused enough trouble. Let's just get this over with." He leered down at his captive. "I have a date to finish."

Blue widened in horror but the large man hustled the smaller men along before the blond could decide if he was humiliated or pissed off. They made it to the courtyard of the Eleventh Division before he dug in his heels. Ikkaku was already yelling. "Yo, whoever Yumi's doin', get your ass out here!" No one moved. "Right the fuck now!"

A slender man, nearly a boy, stepped away from the wall, cheeks pink but fire in his eyes. "What about it? He go bawling to you again?" A sneer and he spit on the ground. "That pussy. I didn't even hurt him."

Yumichika gasped and stamped his foot. "How dare you? You bruised my wrist! Ikka!"

"Yeah, yeah. I can't believe you actually want me to beat this up for you." The last part was muttered under his breath for only Kira and Yumi to hear. "Alright, kid, you know how this works?" The bald man didn't wait for a response. "You get a free shot, then I stomp your pathetic ass into the ground. So do as much damage as you can." He grinned easily and spread his arms. "Hurry it up, ok? I got somewhere to be."

Kira stood back and just watched; he noticed Yumichika settling himself on the entrance step, hakama perfectly folded. The brunet was checking his nails and fussing with one in particular, muttering away to himself. "Yumichika? Aren't you going to watch?"

"Why? Ikka will beat him up. Nothing to watch." Both hands were held up side by side and a critical eye examined them before a nail was attacked again. "Little asshole."

Izuru frowned. "But, isn't he beating him up because he hurt you?"

A giggle and violet turned to stare at him. "Of course not! I can handle some little punk on my own, thank you very much. But I just had my nails done this morning and that little shit smudged one. Then he threatened to wreck them all unless I became his boyfriend." Another high little giggle, slightly manic this time. "Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Me? As some brat's boyfriend?" His head whipped around suddenly at the loud thud of a body hitting the ground.

A brilliant grin and the pretty brunet leapt on his defender, hugging happily and swinging from the sturdy neck. "Yay!" Kira glared and crossed his arms.

Ikkaku immediately shoved his friend off. "Ugh, you are such a pain." A glance at the young man at his feet. "Damn, kid, that was sad, even for one of Yumi's. Show some balls next time, huh?" The small form just whimpered and curled tighter. "Do you even know why I beat on you?" Short hair shook frantically. "I can't believe this! You didn't even tell him?"

Yumichika shrugged. "He was being rude. And you saw what he did to my nails." Dark eyes rolled.

"Hey, kid. Let me give you some advice. Don't try to keep someone like his highness here. And don't start anything with him the day he gets his nails done. He's especially paranoid and bitchy." The brat had some small potential, if he could stay away from assholes like Yume long enough to grow into it. Ikkaku shrugged at the soft whimper and stood. "Alright. Kira, we're out of here."

"But, but, what about" A slender hand waved in the air to encompass Yumichika and the quietly whining man on the ground. "Don't you think..."

"No." A large hand grabbed Kira's arm and started to drag him away. "He always picks these losers then comes crying to me because he's too lazy to kick their asses."

"Well, we should set him up with someone nice." The soft voice lowered to a whisper "Madarame, he's lonely." Faint growling faded under wide blue eyes.

Wide shoulders slumped in defeat; how was anyone supposed to stand up to those? "Fine. Yume, get over here." The pretty man bounced over from where he'd been prodding his latest victim. "Go see Hisagi. He's a good guy."

"But, isn't he your friend?"

"He's yours too ya dumbass. Take him for supper or something." Kira folded his small hand into the larger one and the taller man looked down, a gentle smile flickering before vanishing. "Give him a shot, he's a decent guy."

White flashed as the brunet thought it out, fiddling idly with his smudged nail. "Maybe." As good a guy as he was sure Hisagi was, messing with Ikka's friends might not be a good idea. Even ones who said they were his friends too.

Maybe.


End file.
